Friday, March 28, 2008

Day 94...weight? Steady, steady...

My "babies!" Aren't they soooo cute?? The yellow one has a bum foot...trying to get it fixed up...He/She looks sooo cute trying to run around with the cast that goes "thump, thump, thump" when he/she tries to keep up with his/her brother/sister. *sigh* I'm in looooooveeee!

If you haven't check out my "cyber pal" Tigerlilly's blog, I'd highly recommend it. (link: She's one cool chick. What I like about her is that she acknowledges all the crap she's gone through, all the crap she participated in, and still can stand back and say: Yeah, it was a stinky mess, but...that's done. I think that's where I'm getting stuck. Here's a blurb from her blog today (I hope it's ok that I share...):

We are given one body in this lifetime. Why would we just let it rot? My goal is to be the strongest and healthiest person that I can be.. I may never reach goal...only because there will always be something that I can do to better myself.

Dang...Here's the difference between Tigerlilly and myself: My BRAIN believes statements such as that. I've SAID myself statements such as that. But I can't seem to coordinate my brain and my soul for very long. That's what I'm working on right now. I'm working on the "Fearless Living" plan by Rhonda Britten. I've got all of her books, but I decided to start with the "Change your life in 30 days" book. I've even make a 30 day blog that you can check out if ya feel like it:( I'm trying to see if THAT's where I'm breaking down...that it's the FEAR that's holding me back.

Tigerlilly also mentioned in her latest blog that the thing she's most scared of is that she WILL reach her "goal" weight. Because...well...then what does she have to focus her energy on? I know that feeling all too well. Not exclusively in the realm of weight loss, but...I know that hyper-focused energy that can come from being like a laser pointer locked onto something. I realized that THAT type of focus and energy (for ME) was my way of "running away" from things that were painful to me...keeping my energy so focused on something...nearly to the point of obsession, it made it very convenient for me to pretend everything was ok. So, I can't go back there.

Today holds a visit from my sister in then? Not much. I've been keeping myself pleasantly busy with household projects, organizational issues and my sweet little ducklings!

Have fun, and HAPPY FRIDAY!



Tigerlilly said...

There is a phrase that I hear all the time (especially from those with *ahem* certain addictions):

The first step in solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem!

I think you are on the right track with these books. I am definitley going to check out your other blog!

I will tell you one of the many things that I do to help me move forward. I forgive myself. I'm not perfect.. and never will be.


Fatinah said...

I've subscribed to your other blog - can't wait to hear about your journey!