Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day 148...weight is the same...

Ok, so I finally feel totally, completely normal again! Yippee!! Thanks for your caring comments!

Wow, it feels as if I've been "gone" for a long time. I just haven't had too much to write about. School is just about done for the year (about 3 weeks), so I'm sure I'll begin waxing poetic (and slightly depressive) when I have more time on my hands...oh, boy, I'll bet you're on the edge of your seat waiting for THAT! I aim to lose 20 pounds over the summer (about 60 days). Me thinks I can do it if me tries very hard. I just think 20 pounds would put me in the "really pretty healthy" range. Right now, at 183, I'm in the "more than just chubby" range. And I really just want to be healthy.

Ummm, what else? Daughter (5th grade) left today for a camping trip with her class for a few days. I miss her already. She's like a beam of light. Pleasant, and can burn sometimes, too! Got to be careful with that! She's got two big ole doctor appointments next month I haven't had the strength to tell her about yet. Two days worth of neurological testing (8 hours)...yikes! Poor baby. I just know I need to help her... Got into a tiff last night with the husband about that last night, because he's well aware that I am frustrated that he doesn't do ANYTHING to try to help her. I asked him a couple of months ago if he'd take a couple of classes related to her disorder (parent information classes), since I was taking 4...he said sure. (This is the FIRST thing I've asked him to do, because he has shown NO interest; it's me that reads a million books, that reads dozens of articles, that visits tons of websites, talks to a dozen teachers/special ed/learning resource specialists, that goes to a bunch of doctor visits for YEARS now)... So, last week was one of his classes. He went. Came home and said that he didn't think that class was relevant to EXACTLY what our daughter has. I said: Well, did ya say: Excuse me, Mr. Doctor, but how could that information be translated into THIS type of disorder? No... He just sat there and decided this class was a waste of time. So, the next class comes up and he ditches it to go boating with his friend. Something he'll get to do a dozen times over the next few months. YES, they'll offer the classes again at some point, but THAT's not really the point... I told him I was disappointed in how he handled that. That it is apparently more important for him to have fun that it is to hopefully glean some useful information out of a meeting that my be able to be utilized with the daughter. Oh, and not to mention it would have made me feel like he CARED about her and me. And that I feel this whole "figuring out how to help her" is on MY shoulders and my shoulders alone. He said: well, it seems that most of her issues are school related and since you handle the school stuff, it seemed like you were handling it all fine. STILL not the point. You have a kid who has a cognitive disorder...HELP HER! Don't just sit there and let me do it. Come up with ideas. SHOW ME you're interested.

Needless to say, that conversation didn't go really anywhere. I was left still feeling frustrated and unsupported.

Part of me didn't even want to bring up my disappointment in his not taking the 2 hour class. I KNEW it would morph into something else. Something where inevitably it was MY fault. Sure enough...blah....tired, tired...

What else? Stepson is graduating from high school in So CA in a few weeks. We'll go down for that. Lordy 5 days with the if that's not a challenge enough...we'll have to spend time with his ex-wife, too. Oh, boy. Tooooo much fun!

Looking forward to summer. I'm ready for a break. Quiet.

Best wishes, my friends~


Monday, May 19, 2008

Day 146...183 big ones!

So, guess what? I got that freakin' death flu! I am STILL dealing with the remnants of her visit, and...oh, weeeeeee, it was bad! But today...yes, TODAY...5 days later, I finally feel totally myself again! We're all healthy, and...soooooooooooo happy that's over! Hopefully it'll be another 7 years before we get the stomach flu again!

Flu was SO bad, I lost 7 pounds in 24 hours! And I wasn't the least bit happy about it, either! I mean, any other time, I'd be like: Oh, hooray! Despite the fact that I'd know it would come back within 24-48 hours...not this time. That's how sick I was. I said: God, I don't care if I never lose another pound, just please, help me feel better! Phew!

I will be easing back into the work outs again...maybe nearer the end of the week, though. We've got SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much going on in the next 30 days, it is imperative that I/we stay healthy.

Hope everyone is well, and that YOU'RE healthy!



Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Day 140...weight...183

Well, it's been a regular Vomitorium in my house the last few days. The daughter woke up on Sunday (Mother's Day...Hellllooooo!) puking her self into near unconsciousness. That was a mess! She doesn't know she's going to barf until it is coming out of her mouth (lucky her)...but unlucky me, as she managed to barf on nearly every piece of fabric we own. But, then...after about 18 hours, she pulled out of it. Thought I was in the clear by late yesterday and early this morning...figuring she had a case of food poisoning, then...WHAMMO! My son's teacher finds me on campus and says the boy just barfed all over the classroom's bathroom. Tell there anything worse than barfing AT school? In front of your classmates? Noooo....I did it in 5th grade and have never forgotten it...And she said he looked pathetic, trying to hobble into the bathroom with his big ole cast sad! Well, ohhhhkaaaaayyyy....and it's STAR testing week! THE worst week for us to be out. But, it'll be ok. The boy seems to be not quite as sick as the daughter, though I just checked on him again and he said he thinks he's gonna barf again soon (dang it! He just called it comes! ) GAK! Poor babies!!!

Wish me luck...I sure hope I don't get it. I am NOT a good barfer. I lay there for HOURS hoping for death before I finally puke. HATE it.

Sorry to be gross...
Oh, and...the husband it forcing me to relocate my beloved ducks. Have I mentioned how much I ADORE those ducks? I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad. Saying I'm sad doesn't even come close to what I feel. I'm devastated.

Hope you are all healthy and enjoying the weather. Spring in northern California is SO beautiful!

Big lovin',


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Day 133...unknown weight

Wow...why have I been soooo busy??

Farm Sanctuary weekend was a BLAST! Man, oh, man...what fun! The animals were cool to hang around, the food was fab, and the weather was lovely. That picture is the view we had. So great, especially for us city folk who have to STRAIN to see something besides buildings and cars. So, I've always been a very committed vegan, but after this weekend, I just am sickened to think I buy meat/dairy/eggs for my family to eat. I am contributing to the suffering by purchasing those items. I'm SUPPORTING an industry I abhor. How can I keep doing this?

Ah, well...

Son's ankle is doing ok. He got his full cast on yesterday, and he's already tired of it, though he doesn't complain. He takes care of himself...the only thing I do for him is carry his cereal bowl to the table for him. He's very self sufficient. One of the MANY things I love about him! Husband ripped a bunch of cartilage out of his knee the SAME day my son broke his ankle. Did I mention this? THEN, after coming home Sunday night from camping, I noticed our beloved hamster walking appears she may have chewed off one of her back feet...did it get caught in something? I'm so sad for her...but she seems to be ok. I've been checking on her a couple of times a day, making sure the wound is clean, giving her lots of high calorie foods to keep her strength up, and she's doing ok. But I'm just sick about it. I really don't want to euthanize her... I am positive she will be ok. I just have to be positive. But what a weird thing... Jeez, my family seems to have weird foot/leg issues...

I've been feeling odd for several days now. Not sick per se, but...something is just off. I think it's because I'm on my period, and the older I get, the harder it gets. I just feel funky! Hope to be back on track soon.

Hoping everyone is well~


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Day 128...weight...183

GAWD! Where have I BEEN?? It's been absolutely nutso around here...a week since my last post. I've been working more than usual, getting ready for a weekend trip, and 12 year old baby boy fractured his ankle. Mercy me...

SO, sorry my weight loss report has been delayed. I was at 183 last Friday when I weighed in. I may be higher than that now simply due to that TOM. Well, it's right around the corner. I expect the visit in the next day or so.

Going to Farm Sanctuary's big ole shin-dig this weekend. Should be fun. Going with daughter and sister. Looking forward to lots of awesome vegan food, hanging out with the cows and pigs and camping under the stars. Ahhh...don't cha wish you were me?? ha!

Enjoy, all!