Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Day 148...weight is the same...

Ok, so I finally feel totally, completely normal again! Yippee!! Thanks for your caring comments!

Wow, it feels as if I've been "gone" for a long time. I just haven't had too much to write about. School is just about done for the year (about 3 weeks), so I'm sure I'll begin waxing poetic (and slightly depressive) when I have more time on my hands...oh, boy, I'll bet you're on the edge of your seat waiting for THAT! I aim to lose 20 pounds over the summer (about 60 days). Me thinks I can do it if me tries very hard. I just think 20 pounds would put me in the "really pretty healthy" range. Right now, at 183, I'm in the "more than just chubby" range. And I really just want to be healthy.

Ummm, what else? Daughter (5th grade) left today for a camping trip with her class for a few days. I miss her already. She's like a beam of light. Pleasant, and can burn sometimes, too! Got to be careful with that! She's got two big ole doctor appointments next month I haven't had the strength to tell her about yet. Two days worth of neurological testing (8 hours)...yikes! Poor baby. I just know I need to help her... Got into a tiff last night with the husband about that last night, because he's well aware that I am frustrated that he doesn't do ANYTHING to try to help her. I asked him a couple of months ago if he'd take a couple of classes related to her disorder (parent information classes), since I was taking 4...he said sure. (This is the FIRST thing I've asked him to do, because he has shown NO interest; it's me that reads a million books, that reads dozens of articles, that visits tons of websites, talks to a dozen teachers/special ed/learning resource specialists, that goes to a bunch of doctor visits for YEARS now)... So, last week was one of his classes. He went. Came home and said that he didn't think that class was relevant to EXACTLY what our daughter has. I said: Well, did ya say: Excuse me, Mr. Doctor, but how could that information be translated into THIS type of disorder? No... He just sat there and decided this class was a waste of time. So, the next class comes up and he ditches it to go boating with his friend. Something he'll get to do a dozen times over the next few months. YES, they'll offer the classes again at some point, but THAT's not really the point... I told him I was disappointed in how he handled that. That it is apparently more important for him to have fun that it is to hopefully glean some useful information out of a meeting that my be able to be utilized with the daughter. Oh, and not to mention it would have made me feel like he CARED about her and me. And that I feel this whole "figuring out how to help her" is on MY shoulders and my shoulders alone. He said: well, it seems that most of her issues are school related and since you handle the school stuff, it seemed like you were handling it all fine. STILL not the point. You have a kid who has a cognitive disorder...HELP HER! Don't just sit there and let me do it. Come up with ideas. SHOW ME you're interested.

Needless to say, that conversation didn't go really anywhere. I was left still feeling frustrated and unsupported.

Part of me didn't even want to bring up my disappointment in his not taking the 2 hour class. I KNEW it would morph into something else. Something where inevitably it was MY fault. Sure enough...blah....tired, tired...

What else? Stepson is graduating from high school in So CA in a few weeks. We'll go down for that. Lordy 5 days with the if that's not a challenge enough...we'll have to spend time with his ex-wife, too. Oh, boy. Tooooo much fun!

Looking forward to summer. I'm ready for a break. Quiet.

Best wishes, my friends~



Fatinah said...

I think men in general are far removed from feeling anything like nurturing with the kids. Your husband seems to have taken yet a couple more steps back. Hang in there! At least your little muffin has you!!

Fatinah said...

just checking has been a while....hope all is well