Sunday, February 10, 2008

Day 47...176...Ohhhhh, ahhhhh....

I can hardly believe it...176. Too excited. Did 4.5 miles yesterday at a pace that just about gave me a heart attack. For the first time since I started this whole jog/run/walk thingie that I do, I felt a little queasy in the ole tummy from working a LEETLE harder than was probably smart. But it was worth it!

I am seeing a new shape taking over my body and it's nice. I REALLY looked at myself in the mirror this morning (nude, mind you), and for the first time in YEARS wasn't disgusted. I was not jazzed by what I saw, but I wasn't berating myself, either. Progress, progress.

Suppose I will always have a LARGE belly roll that hangs down and sits just above my lady gear. Tummy tuck is my fantasy, but...I don't know that I could actually cut off a huge chunk of my skin. I'm rather attached to bears the evidence of my two children, after all. I'm the kind of person who busts out in a stretch mark if anyone even SAYS the word "stretch mark." Found the first ones when I hit puberty, and, trust me, I was not crazy overweight. I thought I was. My family told me I was, my classmates told me I was, but I know now I wasn't. I was NORMAL. So, I suppose I'll keep it, but it makes things a little difficult when it comes to certain clothes, because even now, I'm a 12/14 around the waist, and more like a 14/16 around my lower belly. So, either I have a huge gap at the waist band, or it's tight across the belly. A little frustrating. OH, and trying to wear certain clothes just doesn't work, because one can clearly see the outline of the tire, which is just kind of gross. My son (who is 12.5), laughs hysterically when I grab the tire in both hands and shake it up and down. He loves to take his fingers and poke them into my belly whilst making a squishy noise...pretending his whole hand is disappearing into my belly. He thinks it's funny. In a way, I do, too. I laugh along with him. I think he finds it facinating because he is just about as thin as a person could be without someone thinking he never gets to eat. But then I point out that the belly is getting smaller...he agrees... My daughter, on the other hand, thinks my belly is about the most disgusting thing she's ever seen! She's just turned 11, and has definite ideas about how a healthy body should look, and my belly just doesn't match that idea. She hates when I play with the belly. So, I don't do it in front of her.

This whole weight loss journey is so interesting. Who would have thought that SO much more changes than just the scale and how one's clothes fit? I knew it would be a big change, but...still, I do find it surprising at times.


1 comment:

Fatinah said...

glad you're seeing evidence of all your hard work!