Saturday, January 12, 2008

Day 18...183 pounds~

I'm up a bit in the ole weight department, but it may be because I've started exercising again, and could be retaining water. Either that, or I'm just eating too much--ha ha...oh, wait, that's not funny...

Just read my cyber-friend, Kim's, weight loss blog. She was talking about how for a long time people did not comment on her weight loss, and now, people are. Her thoughts were: oh, jeez, now I've got to MAINTAIN my loss...scary! (I'm paraphrasing here, and hope I got it correct) Got me to thinking about my own feelings about weight loss...

I'm sitting at 40 pounds gone, and really, it wasn't until 30 pounds that ANYbody said a THING about my weight loss. I was large...220 pounds, but...still, one should have been able to tell I'd lost weight, right? Maybe not... Anyhow, somewhere around 30 pounds people started commenting. And at first, it was nice. But now, people go ON and ON about how awesome I look. Can I say that it is making me a little bit uncomfortable? Can I also say something without sounding like a self-absorbed twinkie? I'm not so sure I'm comfortable going back to being thought of as the 'pretty one.' I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of attention. Seriously. I thought I would enjoy it again, but it makes me feel worthless, actually; as if my looks are the only thing that's important. I don't want it to be like that.

I swear I'm not a shrew.



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